Saturday, March 10, 2012

Those Moments

I'm talking about those moments when we question our path.

There are a lot of unschooling blogs out there, including this one. On those blogs and on this one, you will find lots of posts telling exciting, amazing or "educational" things that unschoolers do. It is often quite impressive and, when I read those other blogs or posts by other unschoolers on Facebook, I am often in awe. The thing is, people might easily have that same feeling when reading my blog and I'm the one having a moment.

Recently, I have been going through a bit of a worry time. All unschoolers go through it at one time or another. It is completely normal. Truly! During those moments, reading about all the amazing things that others are doing feeds into the doubts about whether unschooling is "working". In my rational brain, I know that I'm being silly, but still doubts creep in. I am a bit stuck there lately.

I have these (irrational) fears that Princess isn't learning anything, or isn't learning what she "needs" to learn. It's really all so silly. After all, she is only 8! I'm 47 and I'm still learning...and the majority of the things I learned in school, I've forgotten!! Then there's the girl who unschooled and didn't learn any of the higher maths until she found her passion and found out that in order to pursue her degree, she needed all those higher she learned it 6 months. Yes, all.

I spoke to an unschooling friend the other day and she helped me get a little clarity. She pointed out that, often times, what people choose to post about are little snippets in time that read a lot more elaborately than they likely are in actuality. This did help to shift my current view and put my mild panic at ease, at least a bit. Still, I am in the moment of feeling uncertain. After sharing, my dear friend suggested that I break outside the norm and share these not so exciting moments.

I have to wonder if this will get boring, but I suppose that's a matter of perspective. If there are other unschoolers in my situation, perhaps this might help them to not feel so alone. The other thought is that if I look at Princess' days, I may find things that I'm missing. Maybe I have something to learn from all of this.

Learning happens all the time, it can't be helped. My hope is that posting more often about "nothing" will help me and others see things more clearly. It just takes faith and trust (and a little pixie dust...sorry, couldn't help it ;)

I hope you'll join me.


  1. (irrational) fears made me smile. You know why. :)
    Lovely post... and it shows one thing: you are human.

    Also, you may find that some day for some reason your path changes. And that's fine too. You are free to choose... every year, month, week, and day. Hugs, girlfriend. You'll do what feels right. And I'm so glad you have R. to talk to.

    1. Gasp! Me? Human? ;)

      I know that our path may change and it may not. It's all good. Today and everyday, I want to embrace our beautiful much more beautiful than worrying about it. I'm grateful for R. and I'm grateful for you, too, Ute.

    2. Well, actually, you're better than regular human, since you're royalty. ;) That makes you blue blooded, right? CREEEEEPY!!!

  2. I know exactly what you mean. We've been on the homeschooling/unschooling road for 6 years now. Daughter's now working on high school credits at home, has taken numerous personal interest courses through the city and even did a stint in college participating in an introductory interior design program.

    These are the "safe" moments, the ones, we as unschooling parents can point at and say, "Ha! See, she she can still do classroom type stuff without being in one for 6 hours a day, 5 days a week."

    But when Daughter has spent her third day in a row doing nothing but have her nose in a book, or playing a video game or watching T.V., I get all antsy and start wondering and worrying. Is she really learning? Will all this time doing "nothing" hold her back?

    But it's those seemingly mundane, doing it on her own, learning experiences that she really seems to get the most out of. We went out for dinner the other night and were talking with an adult friend and Daughter used the word innuendo. She used it properly, in context and clearly conveyed her point.

    I didn't even know she knew the word, let alone what it meant. When I asked her where she heard it she said, "I read it in my book." And sure, this particular "moment" may not be of any interest to anyone else, but it is still very relevant to the fact that she is indeed learning even when I'm questioning it.

    I think a lot of unschoolers are still intimidated by the perception that mainstream society holds about the educational choices we allow our children to make for themselves. I think you may be surprised at how well received these "nothing" posts will be.

    Good for you for stepping out of your comfort zone and sharing what a lot of unschoolers may be hesitant to.

    1. Sheri, thank you so much for sharing that! Experiences like yours are so helpful to hear and help me to also be more aware of what Princess is learning. Today she used the word culprit. Wow! And yes, she used it correctly. Yes, these are all relevant moments. It is beautiful to see learning happen...without tears, without coercion and in joy! I am looking forward to my nothing posts, too. :)